10 ways to stand out and get noticed on the dating scene
- This is simple, ask yourself: Would you date you at the moment? If your answer is 'no', 'not sure' or 'not right now' I can help. Get in touch.
- The most significant relationship you have (and ever will have) is the one you have with yourself. This is the root of every relationship you have - the core. If you're the one who knows yourself best and you have a tough time loving yourself - how could somebody else? The care and love you have towards yourself is something you communicate all the time. Yes - through your words and the language you choose, but much more than that through your body language, the way you hold yourself, your personal style, the energy you exude - consciously and unconsciously. This is part of your core truth as a woman and it is reflected in everything you do. Stop focussing on your flaws and love and celebrate your strengths instead. Loving yourself is the most significant thing you can do for yourself. And one of the sexiest! Because from here you will make choices and decisions from a place of love that will be in line with what you know you want and deserve.
- Show up as yourself - from the beginning. When you love and accept yourself fully you don't feel the need to pretend or please. You realise that you are precious and fabulous just the way you are, and that you're just not for everybody - that's a good thing! The right person for you will be attracted to the real you instead of a version of you. Deeply connect with yourself and be alive with what makes you who you are. Your energy is contagious. Surround yourself with people that reflect how you want to feel and who you want to be.
- Your femininity is one of your strongest assets. The man you're looking for is not looking to date another man. He is attracted to the fabulous qualities you have that make you the woman you are. We all have masculine and feminine energies - it's just about how we engage with the world around us. In a working environment we may tap into our masculine energy more while in our relationships we may use our feminine energy more. Being fully connected to who you are as a woman is one of the most irresistible and magnetic qualities you can have.
- Love your life and be happy single! Talk about being irresistible… and it will show. When you know who you are and you're happy with yourself and where your life is heading a beautiful thing can happen: the more clear you are about what you want out of life and you already live that life as a single person, the better the chances that you will attract somebody with a similar outlook - your potential lifelong love and team mate. And when you get more serious with somebody - remember it's important to keep your own life going. Don't give up the things that make you happy - that is a part of why he fell in love with you in the first place!
- Date when you're ready - not because you're lonely. Just because you want something doesn't mean that you are actually ready to have it in your life. It can be so tempting to just get back out there or get online too soon after a breakup or divorce, but one of the saddest things in life is the 'right person wrong time' scenario. Or you may get into a more serious relationship than you anticipated because you weren't ready to set the boundaries you needed to. If you have unresolved issues in your life (work, legal, financial, health, an ex, family etc.) that could potentially sabotage your future relationship - get it sorted. If you're not truly ready to date or for a relationship it will come across, even if it's subconsciously. Be patient and give yourself some time to focus on you first and you will find yourself in a much better position to date - when you're ready.
- Treat yourself and take care of yourself the way you expect to be treated. Teach somebody how to treat you from the beginning. And believe somebody the first time when they show you who they are. Listen to your gut and walk away when you feel something is off. Pay close attention to how you are being treated as well as what is being expected of you. It can be easy to let chemistry take over and to overlook things that you normally wouldn't. Don't waste time and opportunities on somebody who is not going to be worth it in the long run. When it comes down to it we all know that action speaks louder than words. Watch closely and trust your gut feeling.
- Be the Chooser, not the Chaser. This is about being proactive and taking control in your dating life. Don't get swept up in somebody else's agenda because you're not clear about what it is that you really want. Follow your gut instinct. Take responsibility for your choices - if you're clear on what you want you will not waste your time on somebody that is not going to be worth it in the end. Again - it can be easy to let chemistry take over - especially in the beginning! It really is one of the most delicious feelings to be head over heels with the right person - but make sure you keep your head and your heart in balance.
- Create space to be pursued. Relax. Take a step back and don't worry about him calling and texting - if he's into you, he needs the space to do those things himself. If he's not, you're not going to change that by 'just checking in' or 'just saying hi'. This is not about playing games or having 'rules'. This is about not having expectations of what he 'should' and 'shouldn't' be doing to show you that he is interested. Get on with your own life and enjoy how it unfolds…whatever form that takes. But if you feel that something is off and he is playing games: walk away. Again - don't waste time and opportunities. If it's worth it take your time and give him time to value you. You're worth it. Also - read point 8 again.
- Know your deal breakers and don't compromise. These are the things that mean so much to you that even if he is the most perfect human being on the planet and everything else is right, but this thing is missing - the relationship will just not work. This could be something like having polar opposite ideas about monogamy, getting married or not, or having children. Whatever they are your deal breakers are valid and they are there for a reason. If you allow yourself (even in the early stages) to compromise on these because you think he will change his mind - or you will change him - it could be a sure way to breaking your heart. It rarely works out. Know what you want and need and don't compromise. You really don't have to!
- BONUS TIP: HAVE FUN! I understand a lot of the pressure we can put on ourselves - every date and/or every person we meet that can be a possible match. How about just taking a step back, relax and concentrate on just having fun, being fabulous and unforgettable in your own way because of who you are - instead of expecting love at first sight or an instant connection.
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